i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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