I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
