I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
