yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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