is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
