got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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