I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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