her vagine was all disorganized.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
