Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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