i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
