I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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