are you still at the devil's house?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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