I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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