Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
