Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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