I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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