I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
