he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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