i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
