She said her name was "party"
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
