Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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