areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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