Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
