I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
