so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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