How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
