Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
