So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
