Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
