saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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