I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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