Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
