yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
my poor anus
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
