using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
