i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
