You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
