Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
okay pat passed out under dana's car
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
