But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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