I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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