No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
