Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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