youre lurking in front of me
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
