HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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