I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
