There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
