It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Randomize
