i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
