Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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