I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
