4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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