Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
