He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
